The disappointed matters

Last January I took toeic exam and got the result in Feb.
There are no score moving and even a little lower than before last year.
These few months I had to read not a few docs in English so I hoped there were any improvement.
My boss said I maybe could go to business trip this May but it depends on skills on my internal control knowledge improvement.
These days I can't feel my improvements or getting knowledge even I go to English conversation school or CPA course.
It's very similar to the situation at my highschoolhood when I learned playing flute by my teacher.
I was very loving to play flute but there was no way to use it.
There was a way to go to music school but when I considered my future plan, to be a flutist was very hard way to me.
So I canceled my future flutist jobs and selected to be lawyer.
It's too long story so I write it at another occasions.